I'm only dreaming!

So I usually get weirdly vivid dreams. (What follows will be an account of several of my most recent and/or memorable ones).

Ok, the other day I had a dream that my mom was accusing me of using crystal meth and was going to drug test me and I was like NO MOM WHY WOULD I EVER DO CRYSTAL METH.

Drug test me? Yeah? HAWHAWHWAhaHAhajsabfh∆˚åsfl. dunno how that happened....must be the meth.

Speaking of crystal meth (hereby abbreviated as CM), I was speaking with my friend Jess about CM, and we were saying how we had no idea what it did, even her, who watches Breaking Bad regularly, where the cook a shit load of CM.

SO, courtesy of Wikipedia:
Jess- turns out CM is the same thing as speed. Who knew?

There is just far too much I can say about that last paragraph, but i'll let it just sink in to all yalls brains.

Back to DREAMS. 

Another dream, which I had earlier this summer while camping went like this. So we're sleeping in a freezing cold tent in Roscoe, in New York, in America, in North America, on the Earth, in our Solar System, in the Milky Way, in the Universe (but those details aren't important) BUT I DIGRESS. (might be using that word wrong) -- So I wake up in the middle of the night convinced that I somehow got outside of the tent and that I am sleeping on the ground of the campsite next to the fire pit. 

And so I start to panic, thinking I need a light or a flashlight to get back into the tent. So, almost instinctively,  I flail my arms and hit my friend Isabel who was, at the time, sleeping (probably) quite peacefully in her bag of sleeping. She woke up and said "what?" Finally that alerted me to what was actually going on in the situation and I sheepishly mumbled, "I need a flashlight," which she handed to me. I kinda realized at that point that I didn't actually need the flashlight so I turned it on + off real quick.

particularly if the party involves a load of CM.

Then there was the scariest dream I think I ever had. I was little maybe 2nd grade, and I dreamt that I was at my nana's house, and for some reason it was by a lake (I don't think it's even close to a lake- landlocked in PA) So anyways I noticed this alligator infestation in the late, but sadly I was the only one who noticed. 

But of course, no one listened to me, those dumb mofos, so I decided to lock myself in my nana's house, as to protect myself. But after locking the numerous doors in the house, I reluctantly decided that I couldn't let me entire family suffer death at the hands of shark alligator teeth, and ran in convincing then to take to shelter. 

This gif is particularly relevant because I'm watching the Olympics like just about every corporate slave in the world. Wait. Ignore me, I didn't just go there. Must be all the CM, that's a discussion for another day.

I don't remember if I was successful or not because I woke up somewhere around then and slept in my parent's room. I really couldn't be too careful, I didn't know what was hidden in the shadows under my bed. 

Closing Remarks:

Dream Vacation:

Gah. I'm hungry.

Some songs:

TWO OF THE MEMBERS OF RADIOHEAD WHAT WHAT.

Going to see Mumford & Sons on WEDNESDAY

The Bread of Life....Food.

I lied last blog post when I said laziness was my favorite topic. Here’s my real favorite topic: FOOOOOOD. FOOD. FOOOOD. COMIDA. NOM. YUM. MUCHIES. SNACKKKKKKKKKS.

But seriously my love of food ALWAYS trumps my desire to not move.

And you know, if you're ever down, or upset, or even if you're really happy, food will always be there for you. I also lied before when I said sleep was my only friend. Food is another friend. I have two. Sleep and food.

But I feel that I am very generous with food. One of my biggest pet peeves is people who don’t share their food. It really bothers me. It like “Oh can I have a bit of *insert delicious food here*?” And then they freak out! I mean, I think you’ll survive.

We have this little “game” in our house called “hegies.” Now, I don’t know how to spell it so I just went phonetical on dat shit.

Basically if someone has food that you want you say “hegies.” If you say that they have to give you a bite. If they say “no hegies” before you say “hegies” they don’t have to give you anything. Sucks to suck.

Then you just stare at their food longingly hoping they’ll cave (they won’t).

This is exactly what my dog, Daisy does, by the by. She’s good but sneaky. She’ll sit next to you on the couch she won’t try to grab your giant plate of nachos, but she will however stare at you with the worst pain imaginable.

Inside she's just smiling all evil like for her genius plan.

Back to the game.

It always ends up that the person with the snacks will try to give you the smallest bite ever.

If my dad ever asked for a bite of an ice cream pop he would just literally try and eat it in an entire bite. It was quite annoying.

Now here’s a list of my top foods:

1.       

      Macaroni and Cheese. I did mention this before, BUT if mac and cheese is answer in the vicinity I will eat plate fulls of it. Plate fulls. I feel slightly gluttonous when I do this, but SO worth it.

2.   

            Fries. I love fries. They’re my weakness cuz I know they’re so bad for you. I’m actually eating fries as I write this.

3.     Ice Cream. I’m never too full for ice cream. You know. YOU KNOW.  Yesterday I had this delicious cookie dough ice cream at cort. IT WAS WONDERFUL. 

4.     Fajitas. On special occasions my parents make fajitas which are basically the best food ever ever. But only when they make them. They use this large black skillet to sizzle up some chicken in delicious marinade, red and green peppers, and onions. Then they prepare all the toppings: black beans and rice, warmed up tortillas and mild salsa and sour cream. When ever fajita night happens in my hour we go all out. My mom makes delicious sangria and we play some Gloria Estefan or some latin sounding music. Then I engorge myself with SEVERAL of them. I usually try to eat four. That’s as far at my professional eating goes. 

      And I think this accurately sums up my relationship with food. Liz is my foodspiration. And Tina is my regular inspiration.

Closing Remarks:

Nigel of the Week (I guess I should be saying "Nigel of the Half-Week"?)

And here's a song I like:

On this weekend's SNL, Bill Hader cracks up during the sketch "The Californians." It is hilarious.

The Californians

If you want to see another crack up sketch:

Debby Downer