Concert Etiquette

So I went to a concert last night, as I do quite often (sorry wallet), and I noticed a few perculiar things which led me to re-open the case of my missing blog. (I haven't writen in a while)

So I am making fireworks with my re-entry into the blogosphere with a list.

About concert etiquette. Of the Do and Don't variety.

DON'T smoke cigarettes at a concert unless you're 5-10 feet away from any living being. I mean think about it, we are already having trouble breathing cos everyone is eminative a thick smog of sweat, why add smelly cigarette smoke to it? Smoke all you want but please don't do it in the middle of a crowded concert.

DO dance! The artist will love the energy if they can tell you're having a great time. DANCE YO FACE OFF (Thanks Lizzy).

DON'T get naked. A little naked is probably okay. (I mean I wouldn't care but I feel like some people might be offended if you start whipping your junk around town).

DON'T shout incessantly throughout the whole concert. Seriously, last night at the Atoms for Peace concert in Philly (i.e. Thom Yorke/ Nigel from Radiohead, Flea, and the drummer from Beck), this guy kept shouting "THOMMMMM! THOMMMMMY! THOMMMYYYY! THOMMMYBOY! WE LOVE YOU! FLEAAAAAA! THOMMMMMMMM! PALO ALTO!!!" I don't know what that last one was about but seriously?!?!

Except he was not cute at all.

DON'T try to shove your way through the crowd. I don't care how much you drank I came HERE EARLY TO GET THIS DAMN SPOT AND THERE IS NO WAY IN THE DEEP RED AND ORANGE FLAMES OF HELL THAT YOU ARE GETTING IN FRONT OF ME SO WATCH IT. 

I've never found a more perfect gif.

DO dance really aggressively if the above thing is happening to you. I'm talking flail those arms ladies and gentlemans. Shake that booty like it never been shook before. Dougie if you must. Chances are they will leave you alone and the maybe they'll learn a life lesson. If not YOU TEACH IT TO THEM.

DO be somewhat conscious. I had this guy who was just falling backwards and sideways and everywhich way, and all the people around his had to do this thing where they caught him when he fell. Not cool man! We're all trying to have a good time. And maybe you thought you we're having a good time, but you were ruining for everyone around you. BE CONSCIOUS of your actions (and not just at concerts)

DON'T make out with your lover/partner/random person in an obnoxious manner. I mean, nothing wrong with a little PDA here, but there's a difference between a few sweet kisses and foreplay. Just saying!

CLOSING REMARKS:

I'm only dreaming!

So I usually get weirdly vivid dreams. (What follows will be an account of several of my most recent and/or memorable ones).

Ok, the other day I had a dream that my mom was accusing me of using crystal meth and was going to drug test me and I was like NO MOM WHY WOULD I EVER DO CRYSTAL METH.

Drug test me? Yeah? HAWHAWHWAhaHAhajsabfh∆˚åsfl. dunno how that happened....must be the meth.

Speaking of crystal meth (hereby abbreviated as CM), I was speaking with my friend Jess about CM, and we were saying how we had no idea what it did, even her, who watches Breaking Bad regularly, where the cook a shit load of CM.

SO, courtesy of Wikipedia:
Jess- turns out CM is the same thing as speed. Who knew?

There is just far too much I can say about that last paragraph, but i'll let it just sink in to all yalls brains.

Back to DREAMS. 

Another dream, which I had earlier this summer while camping went like this. So we're sleeping in a freezing cold tent in Roscoe, in New York, in America, in North America, on the Earth, in our Solar System, in the Milky Way, in the Universe (but those details aren't important) BUT I DIGRESS. (might be using that word wrong) -- So I wake up in the middle of the night convinced that I somehow got outside of the tent and that I am sleeping on the ground of the campsite next to the fire pit. 

And so I start to panic, thinking I need a light or a flashlight to get back into the tent. So, almost instinctively,  I flail my arms and hit my friend Isabel who was, at the time, sleeping (probably) quite peacefully in her bag of sleeping. She woke up and said "what?" Finally that alerted me to what was actually going on in the situation and I sheepishly mumbled, "I need a flashlight," which she handed to me. I kinda realized at that point that I didn't actually need the flashlight so I turned it on + off real quick.

particularly if the party involves a load of CM.

Then there was the scariest dream I think I ever had. I was little maybe 2nd grade, and I dreamt that I was at my nana's house, and for some reason it was by a lake (I don't think it's even close to a lake- landlocked in PA) So anyways I noticed this alligator infestation in the late, but sadly I was the only one who noticed. 

But of course, no one listened to me, those dumb mofos, so I decided to lock myself in my nana's house, as to protect myself. But after locking the numerous doors in the house, I reluctantly decided that I couldn't let me entire family suffer death at the hands of shark alligator teeth, and ran in convincing then to take to shelter. 

This gif is particularly relevant because I'm watching the Olympics like just about every corporate slave in the world. Wait. Ignore me, I didn't just go there. Must be all the CM, that's a discussion for another day.

I don't remember if I was successful or not because I woke up somewhere around then and slept in my parent's room. I really couldn't be too careful, I didn't know what was hidden in the shadows under my bed. 

Closing Remarks:

Dream Vacation:

Gah. I'm hungry.

Some songs:

TWO OF THE MEMBERS OF RADIOHEAD WHAT WHAT.

Going to see Mumford & Sons on WEDNESDAY

SWIMMING WITH THE FISHES

I know what you're gonna say...YES, I know what that phrase means I was just trying to be clever and show that i've been watching the USA Swimming Olympic Trials for the past three days.

Here's 75% of the reason why:

I only kinda want Lochte to win the races they have together because Phelps has won so much already. Good for him and all because he's become such a icon- he's going to his FOURTH olympics this year! That's CRAZY! 16 years of olympics is not an easy feat-- and the most metals of any olympic athlete. 

Also look at how pissed he looks...heheheh.

I also really like to see the really young athletes make it on the team because how awesome would it be to make the team when you're still in high school?

Speaking of which, someone on my club team from when I was younger is in the Olympic trails- he already got 11th in the 100 Breaststroke-- which is amazing!

I just watched 17 year old Missy Franklin make the olympic team and a new american record for the 100 Back- that's my race.

I've been feeling nogalistic (so i'm not sure if that word is spelt right, but honestly it's too hard to figure out how to spell it right. I won't go into how hard it's been for me in attempting to figure that out) about swimming since watching these, I loved competing but I HATED practice.

Ya'll swimmers out there know what I mean.

And I'm really so impressed with all the swimmers in the trials- it takes so much energy and training to get to this level- and here we have the top swimmers not only in the country, but in the world. It's so amazing that people can move their bodies in such a way that they move so very fast- but of course we can't touch the speed of the fishes....

Anyways I haven't really even swam for over a year- which means my body is extremely out of shape.

IDGAF WHUT WHUT

WHATEVER PEOPLE I DO WHAT I WANT

Closing Remarks:

Awesome.

Some songs:

Child's Play

So one of the really fun things about working at the pool (even though there are many) is seeing the games that the kids play day to day. They have a ton of staple games, and on top of that, they make up new games every summer (most of the rules don't actually make sense).

By the by another one of my favorite things about the pool is THUNDERRRR.

I hope it never is, James Franco, I hope it never is....

Back to ze games-- lets you know that some kids are actually creative...not for long I fear.

Here are so ejemples....

1. Escape from Alcatraz: Kids hang on the side of the pool while another kid stands on the edge with his/her back facing the pool. All the kids on the wall have to get to the other side without the one noticing. If he/she looks back with out someone going, he/she has to take a step forward, and if there is something going, they have to catch them. I like to tell the one kid when people are going.  Me: "Hey...they're going!! They're going!! go get them!" (sometimes they're going...and sometimes they're not)

2. Gutter Ball: Two teams on the opposite side of the pool throw splash balls at each other. If it  lands in the government ..... That was weird....I meant to write "gutter"...weird...I wonder if they said that word in the episode of downton abbey that I'm watching right now....probs not. ANYways.... the game is played for points, but it gets real out of hand when the ball starts flying around and hitting people sunbathing....it's like a bludger...

And this is a brief description of what I have to do when people start complaining about getting hit by flying BAWLS:

But then the kids are all like:

maybe I took this a lil too far? NAH.

3. Colors: A kid holds up another kid like a baby kinda and the kid being held has to guess the color that the other one is thinking. If they guess wrong, they get dunked, if they guess right, they get flipped....It seems worse to get flipped, but whatever, I played this when I was like 15....um...i mean 9....too. heh.

4. That Weird Baseball Game: Not exactly sure how this one works but there's three kids and ones a pitcher, the other is a batter (sans bat), and the other is the ref. The batter/ runner has to get to the pitcher before the pitcher...um...well never mind I still don't understand this game, it looks STOOOOPID. 

5. Catching a ball while jumping off the diving board: self explanatory. 

6. Acting out weird things while jumping off the diving board (seriously these kids are WEIIIRD).

7. General Swimming Races: Really the slow kids end up stopping halfway through because they don't want to really lose.

8. Oh and a lifeguard favorite: Let's See Who Can Stay Under Water For The Longest

9. Or: Let's Pretend We're Drowning! Haha So Funny!

10. Let's See Who Can Get Into The Lifeguard Office Without Getting In Trouble

11. The best: Let's Annoy the Lifeguards By Trying To Get Free Ice Cream Or By Trying To Get Money From Them.

12. Even better: Let's See How Many Times We Can Jump In The Pool After Adult Swim Is Called aka "Oops I Slipped"

Closing Remarks:

THISSS.

Canciones!