Why Lifeguarding Is The Best Job Ever

1. If you have a lifeguard certification, chances are you will find a job, and in this economy, i'd say that's a good thing

2. Free food. People at the pool are always B B Q'ing things, and since they love and appreciate the lifeguards SO much, they always offer us snacks and meat and the likes. and leftover pizza. i'll take it.

Give me all the food.

3. Great pay. Since lifeguards are trained....or something.....we get to get PAID SON. what what!

4. Kiddies. This is both a disadvantage and advantage. They can be sweet and entertaining, or they can be evil little pieces of puke. ANYWAYS, the job does  consist of yelling at them  a lot. But they're fun to mess with, push in the pool and such....they're so unsuspecting * insert evil laughter here*

5. Working with people your age. All the guards are within two or three years my age. Right now I'm a senior guard, so none are older than me. Which is great because I can make them do the bad jobs like unclogging the toilet, which is probably the grossest part of the job.

6. Puke. Now, now, let me explain. If anybody pukes in the pool, we get to close it for the rest of the day, which is the absolute BOMB DIGGITY. So puke away my little chilluns. Every summer we usually have a puke count posted, but so far this year, no one has puked.

7. Thunder. Same goes for thunder, which causes the pool to close for 30 minutes. YAYY.

8. Adult Swim. Every hour the kids get to leave the pool for fifteen minutes, which is my favorite time of the day. When we blow the whistle super loud and yell adult swim all the kids boo and whatnot, but the lifeguards cheer. And when we call kid swim, we just softly blow the whistle and whisper "kid swim".

9.  Swimming! My goal for this summer is to become a crazy acrobat on the diving board, but it probably won't happen cuz yesterday i did a backflip and hurt my legs.

We usually jump in after every 15 minute shift.

10. Being famous at the pool.

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