The Interweb

My friend told me the other day, “you know all the internet memes.”

Well, while I don’t agree that that is 100 percent true, I do agree that I spend a little too much time on the internet.

I don’t have a smart phone so I use my laptop to access the internet most of the time.

I spend most of my time on (in order)

1.   Tumblr

2.     Facebook

3.     Stumble Upon

4.     My email

5.     Twitter

6.     Hulu

7.     Netflix

8.     Youtube

9.     Imgur

10. Blogspot

11. Various Music Websites

12. Weather Channel.com

13. Other various websites for school and life uses (bank, moodle ETC)

I mean…I do a lot on the internet, and I receive a huge stream of information and images every day.

I do like my exposure to creative thing and inspiration though. It’s nice to constantly be seeing cool things, and these all give my inspiration for things to write about, talk about, etc.

I mean I somehow find all the multimedia material that I use on this blog on various sites. I’ve seen a ridiculous amount of memes, works of art, viral videos, articles, etc.

It’s probably an overload of information and the likes but I don’t mind.

And it’s rare that my computer dies from lack of battery, but if it does, or I for some reason don’t have access to a good internet connection…well…you don’t want to see me then. That’s my only entertainment!

For those of you that are also internet junkies you think about things like memes, gifs, various internet slang (gpoy etc), and you probably know a lot of the viral videos that are going around.

Now, this knowledge won’t get me anywhere in life except perhaps impressing fellow internet explorers

(PUN, internet explorer sucks! Funny story- my mom always uses internet explorer at home, and I’m just like, WHYYY NOOOOO GOOD PLEASEE NOOOO……well not really but come on can’t she just use chrome? It’s a thousand times better.)

And now, for your viewing pleasure, the most offensive picture on the interweb:

You really do encounter the dumbest of dumb on the internet though. People with an IQ of **insert low IQ because I don't know how that scale works** or below should not be allowed access to the internet.

Closing Remarks:

Nigel of the Week:

Here's a song I like:

            

Hunter S. Thompson

I’m going to take a moment to talk about a badass.

I had to get this out at some point- I talk about him a lot. But only because he's so awesome. I mean just listen to what I have to say....hear me out here!

But I’m going to go with it anyways.

The first time I ever encountered the name was when I watched the Movie “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” with Johnny Depp. After love the movie for what it was, I read the book, which was even better than the movie and gave a special insight into who Hunter S. Thompson was.

He started in journalism when he was in the army at Eglin Air Force Base. He took some classes at the local college (in Florida) and became a part of the base’s newspaper.

He was honorable discharged from the military (I don’t think he followed rules up to standard) and worked a number of jobs in the industry.

He really wanted to write the next great America novel- he was obsessed with “The Great Gatsby” and he would type it over and over on his typewriter just to hear the music the keys made.

Later, he worked in Puerto Rico, which can be seen in his book “The Rum Diary” which recently became a movie, again with Johnny Depp (they were good friends).

Trailer for the Rum Diary

His first famous novel was “Hells Angels” which is sitting on my bookshelf right now waiting to be read. He wrote the book by infiltrating the motorcycle group in the 60s, but since it didn’t turn out the way the gang wanted it, he got beat up by some of the members.

At the time, that group was infamous for petting kitties and paining rainbows everywhere.

I think what one of the really cool things about Hunter was that he lived the life of a rock star, with the job of a journalist. He was a wild one, he was.

He loved guns, drugs, and he hated Nixon. His writing style revolutionized journalism. He made his own style called “Gonzo” which was basically what is sounds like. I think the whole thing really is that he’s totally gone when he’s writing stories. “Buy the ticket, take the ride,” he said.

I think this video exemplifies him. It’s hard for me to really explain who he is. He was a pretty awesome guy.

In 2005, Hunter killed himself with a handgun. He son, daughter-in-law, and his grandson were in the adjacent room, but his son thought the noise was simply a book falling.

He asked for his ashes to be shot into space – and they were. A large statue was built with the image of a double thumbed-fist with a peyote button in the middle. That was his symbol when he ran for sheriff in Aspen Colorado.

If you watched the whole of that last video (I know, it was long) you’ll see he explains his plans for a funeral.

And Depp made sure it happened that way—to the tune of :

Basically there is a lot of interesting things about him, I could never really explain all of it…But if you wanted to check him out- you could read any of him books, or watch a movie that was based of a his books. I know there are also a few good documentaries about him on Netflix if you wanted to go that route.

Well I'm glad I did this.

The Bread of Life....Food.

I lied last blog post when I said laziness was my favorite topic. Here’s my real favorite topic: FOOOOOOD. FOOD. FOOOOD. COMIDA. NOM. YUM. MUCHIES. SNACKKKKKKKKKS.

But seriously my love of food ALWAYS trumps my desire to not move.

And you know, if you're ever down, or upset, or even if you're really happy, food will always be there for you. I also lied before when I said sleep was my only friend. Food is another friend. I have two. Sleep and food.

But I feel that I am very generous with food. One of my biggest pet peeves is people who don’t share their food. It really bothers me. It like “Oh can I have a bit of *insert delicious food here*?” And then they freak out! I mean, I think you’ll survive.

We have this little “game” in our house called “hegies.” Now, I don’t know how to spell it so I just went phonetical on dat shit.

Basically if someone has food that you want you say “hegies.” If you say that they have to give you a bite. If they say “no hegies” before you say “hegies” they don’t have to give you anything. Sucks to suck.

Then you just stare at their food longingly hoping they’ll cave (they won’t).

This is exactly what my dog, Daisy does, by the by. She’s good but sneaky. She’ll sit next to you on the couch she won’t try to grab your giant plate of nachos, but she will however stare at you with the worst pain imaginable.

Inside she's just smiling all evil like for her genius plan.

Back to the game.

It always ends up that the person with the snacks will try to give you the smallest bite ever.

If my dad ever asked for a bite of an ice cream pop he would just literally try and eat it in an entire bite. It was quite annoying.

Now here’s a list of my top foods:

1.       

      Macaroni and Cheese. I did mention this before, BUT if mac and cheese is answer in the vicinity I will eat plate fulls of it. Plate fulls. I feel slightly gluttonous when I do this, but SO worth it.

2.   

            Fries. I love fries. They’re my weakness cuz I know they’re so bad for you. I’m actually eating fries as I write this.

3.     Ice Cream. I’m never too full for ice cream. You know. YOU KNOW.  Yesterday I had this delicious cookie dough ice cream at cort. IT WAS WONDERFUL. 

4.     Fajitas. On special occasions my parents make fajitas which are basically the best food ever ever. But only when they make them. They use this large black skillet to sizzle up some chicken in delicious marinade, red and green peppers, and onions. Then they prepare all the toppings: black beans and rice, warmed up tortillas and mild salsa and sour cream. When ever fajita night happens in my hour we go all out. My mom makes delicious sangria and we play some Gloria Estefan or some latin sounding music. Then I engorge myself with SEVERAL of them. I usually try to eat four. That’s as far at my professional eating goes. 

      And I think this accurately sums up my relationship with food. Liz is my foodspiration. And Tina is my regular inspiration.

Closing Remarks:

Nigel of the Week (I guess I should be saying "Nigel of the Half-Week"?)

And here's a song I like:

On this weekend's SNL, Bill Hader cracks up during the sketch "The Californians." It is hilarious.

The Californians

If you want to see another crack up sketch:

Debby Downer

On the topic of laziness

My favorite topic of all topics (maybe). 

Are any of y'all out there lazy?

This guy isn't:

Because I am. To the maximum degree.

I always have these big plans to get stuff done but then somehow... I get distracted?

Oh you want to order a pizza? SURE WHY NOT

Sit outside tanning? SURE WHY NOT

Watch a movie? SURE WHY NOT

Catch up on that show I like? SURE WHY NOT

why not, I have ALLL the time in the world you know.

And by later in the night the biggest thing I’ve accomplished has been making a list of the things I need to do.

I mean it takes me forever, as I mentioned previously, to do any semblance of work.

By that bewitching hour of night where I have finally completed (somehow) my work. I’m just delirious with happiness.

And at home when my parents were looking for me to do chores or some types of work I’d just pull a 'Harry Potter at the Dursley’s' move.

The worst though is when people and commitments and classes keep adding tasks to my ever growing list of things to do. I mean I can only handle a certain amount of things to do. Otherwise many will inevitably fall through the cracks.

I mean seriously STOP TELLING ME TO DO STUFF GOSH.

If I have to much pressure on me I just end up not doing some things.  Oops.

And then there are the naps. OH the naps. OH the naps my friend. They slap me around real hard.

Sleep is my only friend. 

Closing Remarks:

Nigel of the Week:

On another note:

I WANT TO BE AN ASTRONAUT

I want to be an astronaut because

You Only Space Once (YOSO)

Seriously though the only reason I actually want money in life is so I can go to space. I even changed the background of my blog because YOLO. Also, I love space. 

I love shuttle. 

And only for the small price of $200,000!!! What a steal!

What? My children’s college education? Eh not so important if I’m an astronaut. Food? Home? Whatever, as long as I get to space. Plus I'd like my children to be able to brag to their classmates, "yeah my mom went to space BEST MOM EVA BROSEF."

Basically if the equation is me + space then the answer is more awesome than this dude.

How to get there you say? Virgin Galactic all the way baby. Next step: save $200,000 to get to space.

Oh my lanta. I just had the best idea EVER.

Plan A:

Step One: Become famous filmmaker

Step Two: Make a film about space….but go to space on like the first flight. Wouldn’t that be sweet?

Plan B:

Step One: Become a famous filmmaker

Step Two: Use the money you made from that to pay your way onto the ship.

Plan C:


Step One: Rob a bank

Step Two: There isn't a step two. SPACE.

Anyways if I go to space I can realize every hipster’s dreams and wear a space themed space suit. In space.

And eat space food.

And get space sleep.

And take space poops. Too much? Space Kitty thinks not.

This may or may not be that time where I ran that joke into the ground.

*le sigh* hipsters.

Either way space is just by far the best thing ever.

Here are some reasons why:

1. Only 517 humans have been in space ever. Compare that to the almost 7 billion people in the world.

2. If you're wondering, there have been 186 species of animals (not including humans) in space.

3. And there have only been 12 people on the moon ever. I saw this on tweeter a week or two ago:

4. Basically if you go to space you're a boss.

I'm actually taking astronomy right now, it's quite difficult, thus proving the fact that I will never be an astronaut. But I'm still holding out for the space tourism industry. CHECK IT AMIGOS

Closing Remarks:

A synopsis of J.K. Rowling's new novel, "The Casual Vacancy" has been released on the interweb. Here...it....is:

"When Barry Fairweather dies unexpectedly in his early forties, the little town of Pagford is left in shock. Pagford is, seemingly, an English idyll, with a cobbled market square and an ancient abbey, but what lies behind the pretty facade is a town at war. Rich at war with poor, teenagers at war with their parents, wives at war with their husbands, teachers at war with their pupils…Pagford is not what it first seems. And the empty seat left by Barry on the parish council soon becomes the catalyst for the biggest war the town has yet seen. Who will triumph in an election fraught with passion, duplicity and unexpected revelations?"

My roommate told me about that. Also she told me about this. It has not point at all: PLAY IT

Nigel of the Week:

Employment

I applied for a summer job this weekend (well, another one that is).

For the past three summers, I have been working for a pool in my town as a lifeguard, and to be honest, it’s the best job I’ve ever had.

I’ve only had I think 4 jobs though, so I’m not completely sure that’s a great frame of reference.

The place I went to was this fancy restaurant where my brother worked as a busboy at one point, and a friend worked as a hostess.

I decided to apply as a hostess because me + waiting tables sounds like just about the worst idea ever.

If you're wondering, 

Something along those lines, I would assume. But with bits of food flying everywhere and glass getting into people's orifices. 

I’m hoping I can learn how to do something new- well something other than lifeguarding. Now don’t get my wrong- I LOVE my job.

When I say love I actually mean it’s amazing. I get to sit in the sun, tan, and jump in the pool several times a day. Also people are always having picnics and barbeques there so basically it’s my heaven (FREE FOOD).

I have a food problem. I wouldn't call it a problem though. But then again the first sign of addiction is denial. 

I write this as I sit eating an over sized chocolate bunny. 

At the pool we sell ice cream to the kids every hour on the hour during adult swim. I think it is to distract them from the fact that they're not in the pool with ice cream. It sure distracts me.

The office is very applicable today.

But back to the pool.

After a long day of yelling at kids for running, and eating in the pool area, and deal with annoying parents and so on, the end of the day is more like this:

The best days at the pool are the one when it rains.  And even better when it thunders. I can’t count the number of times where we pray for thunder. 

Because if I don't get those sweet sweet breaks from the little chilluns, I might go a little cray. 

I think I'll leave that there for now.

Closing Remarks:

Nigel of the Day 

And my favorite journalist and favorite actor, together- epic picture. 

Hunter S. Thompson and Johnny Depp

For that matter: